Tuesday, 14 July 2009- Mental Breakdown

Tuesday, 14 July 2009- Mental Breakdown
I had a mental breakdown today. The trigger was the news I got of a hole that depressurized a Southwest Airlines jet. The reason this is the suspected trigger is because I had no access any more information than that. I had expected it to have happened either shortly after takeoff, or shortly before landing, because there had been no hint of serious injuries that could have likely occurred in any degree of a rapid decompression at cruise altitude. Also I didn’t know where on the fuselage (assuming it was on the fuselage) the hole occurred, could it have been the cockpit or the passenger cabin, or some portion of the aircraft not accessed by people. Each of these scenarios played out in my head. All I could do was obsessively speculate through the middle of the night on the story behind the headline I read.
The other, probably more significant reason I suspect that this incident was the trigger, is because it literally brought back from the dead the dream I had of becoming a flight attendant or working for the airlines. Incidents like this always reignite my desire to be on the frontline, reassuring a cabin full of passengers, and preparing them all for a safe return back to earth, in the event of such an incident. I had to bury the dream again.
Put simply when I was walking to the second building, I was crying my eyes out. I lay face down in the grass and concluded that no one would know if I just stayed here and let the tears run out over the next couple hours, or I could just walk off my post and leave this job for good. Fortunately I had the good sense to call Chris who was working over at Medimmune. He came right over and listened to me and consoled me. I was able to return to duty in fair condition.